


This Is Why God Doesn't Talk To Us Anymore

by fuzzlefluffs



Category: Mascots - Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Bad Writing, Badly written German accents, God abandoned us, Mr clean turns into a helicopter, Multi, This is just bad, Trump gets vored, bad humor bad writing, i wrote everything in under ten minutes, sin - Freeform, this is all bad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 06:16:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9110200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuzzlefluffs/pseuds/fuzzlefluffs
Summary: Just a collection of horrible, disgusting jokefics I wrote to terrorize my friends with their general awfulness. Follow along as Dongman Trumpet gets straight up vored and Mr Clean morphs into a horrifying helicopter-man hybrid.Am I ashamed of this?Absolutely.Will I stop?No.





	1. Chapter 1

Donald Trump stood in front of his billion dollar estate waiting for his chauffeur to arrive. It's been almost an hour, tapping his foot Trump wondered what could be taking so long. As the wind blowed, his piss yellow comb over flew upwards, the oil of his cheeto skin glowing in the sunlight. Suddenly a dark red limo pulled up. Mumbling under his breath, Trump entered the car.  
"Do you know how long I was waiting," Trump snapped at the driver. The window to the drivers seat was open and all that could be seen of the chauffeur was pitch black hair and the pale skin of his neck.  
"Vhat do you mean," The driver spoke, his voice laced heavily with a German accent.  
"You know very "vell" what I mean," Donald Trump mocked.  
The driver gave a dark chuckle and slammed on the brakes causing Trump to fly forward.  
"What the he-" He was cut off my the menacing gaze of the driver. His poop brown eyes glared down at him. On his lip was a rectangular bush that blew slightly in the breeze.  
"H-hitler," Trump stuttered, his penis twitching in arousal. He knew this man, he looked up to him for years, he had masterbated to that beautiful German face.  
"Yes, is is I, Adolf Hitler."  
Donald Trump could take more. He dropped his pants and bared his taught anus at the genocidal man, " POUND IT IN ME DADDY."  
Hitler trailed his gloved hand lightly across the orange asshole of the man before him, causing Trump to whimper with desire.  
"Vell.....I could please you. But I think I have a better idea."  
"Whip me," Trump panted.  
"Ew, vhat ze fuck no."  
Trump felt his eyes begin to water, he whipped back so he could face the beautiful German man. His nonexistent heart was shattered, his role model was denying him. Trump had modeled everything he has done after him.  
Hitler stroked the Guinea pig that rested on his upper lip in thought. Without a word, he stepped out of the car, opening Trump's door. He roughly grabbed the gingerbread man's collar and dropped him onto the ground.  
As Donald Trump's half chub dug into the dirt he whimpered, "Goose step on me daddy."  
Adolf gripped the back of the other man's hair, the golden crust of Trunp's neck sprinkling lightly on the soil. Trump moaned loudly, his mushroom shaped pens now fully erect.  
"Vhat a beautiful German day," Hitler stated as he gazed around the area, his tiny 'stache glinting in the light, "Vhat a lovely day for a.."  
Hitler looked directly at Trump as he spoke the last word, " Shower."


	2. Trump Gets Vored

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is the one with the worst writing. But read on if you wanna see Trump get brutally vored and essentially admit to being a furry. There is some really gross jokes in this one so heads up.   
> Ex: daddy kink and gross joke abt his daughter

Trump gazed proudly at the large cement wall that stood erect in front of him. He ran his cheesy fingers down the smooth rock, reveling in the cool stone. Donald, or Donnie as most of his close friends called him, felt his pants become uncomfortably tight. This wall, his creation, was much like his daughter. Beautiful, kind, and.....fuckable.  
He unzipped his trousers and allowed his underwhelming penis to throb in the hot sun. A dark purple vein stood out on his orange skin, and he began to rut against the wall. Suddenly he heard a voice from over the wall.  
"I'm so hungry," The voice howled, "Those little pigs did nothing to sate my appetite. And now I'm stuck in Mexico."  
"This wall," The voice continued, it's sensuous tones causing Trump to fantasize about the burly man it must belong to, "Was created by Donald Trump. He's so hot mmmm, he'd make such a good meal."  
Trump began stroking his rock hard ding-a-ling imagining that man across the wall was pounding him hard.  
"I'm gonna huff.....and I'll puff, and I'll blow this wall down," The voice screamed. Suddenly a hole was blown into the wall.  
There was a crunch on the hard ground as Trump heard this mysterious man come forward. In an act of submission, Trump displayed his oozing anus.  
But....the mystery. It couldn't go unsolved. What did this man look like. He turned around to see a muscular wolf to asking towards him. He had no pants, his throbbing wolf penis waving wildly in the soft breeze. Trump couldn't believe it. He was a furry!  
The wolf had a large protruding belly but still had a sick eight pack. He lumbered up to Trump his toothy maw watering in delight. Trump couldn't even run before he was picked up and swallowed whole by the sexy wolf.  
As the Big Bad Wolf rubbed his gut, his meat quivering in delight then another hole in the wall was created.  
The kool aid man full of the sloshing red liquid burst through moaning "OH YEAH"  
Without a word, the wolf was bent over as he was anally attacked by the wet kool aid packet. Trump as sloshed inside of his gut, as he was dissolved by the acids. Suddenly the Kool Aid man came, causing massive amounts of punch to rip through the Wolf's insides. Trump was poured onto the ground onto the remains of daddy Wolf. As he struggled to his feet, the Kool Aid man gazed at him with his ever present smile.  
He began violently shaking his dry Kool-aid dust all over Donnie while screaming,  
"MAKE DADDY ANOTHER WALL MAKE DADDY ANOTHER WALL"  
And so, the construction for the wall across the Canadian American border was put under way.


	3. Kermie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMYGOD this one is so gross??? And I'm sorry for this one but also I'm not. Jsyk I don't actually reread these because holy shit I am ashamed

Kermit the Frog stood in front of the bloodied Elmo, his face contorted in a grimace. Elmo's googly eyes burned holes in the frogs green stitching. In Kermit's webbed hands was a whip.   
"Scream for me," Kermit ordered the red puppet.   
On command, Elmo screeched, "DADDY." as Kermit brought the whip down on his rotund ass. Tears sprang to the corners of Elmo's eyes as he wiggled his ass for more. But Kermit had a better idea, he was gonna mark his sweet little bottom bitch. With a smirk, Kermit opened his mouth and clamped down on Elmo's ripe ass cheek.   
Elmo bucked against the frog's vice like grip. On all fours he began racing around the room, squealing with surprise. Kermit was enjoying this. The adrenaline from Elmo's bull ride caused Kermit's cloth frothy penis to unsheath. With a cruel laugh Kermit violently inserted himself into the red puppet's tight asshole.   
"Fuck," Kermit growled, "Youre tighter than that whore of a pig."  
"RAM ME PLEASE KERMIE," Elmo squealed with delight, "MAKE ME YOUR CONCENTRATION TRAMP."  
With each thrust, Kermit and Elmo got closer to orgasm.  
"FUCK." Kermit's seed exploded into Elmo's ass. The sheer amount of cum caused it to froth out of the tight walls. As he heard Kermit moan with release, Elmo was sent into the throes of pleasure. His blood red semen spewed forth, painting a pentagram on the wall.   
The two were covered d in sweat, as they laid in the pile of their semen. Elmo's belly was round and extended. He was full of his daddy's froggy cum. Suddenly a boiling sound could be heard from Elmo's stomach. He screamed as his stomach began to extend more. Kermit gazed on, a devious smile on his face.   
"What's happening to me," Elmo cried, pain filling his every bone. More cum began to froth out of his anus painfully like a rabid raccoon.   
"You are birthing my spawn," Kermit spoke softly, "I'm sorry. But this is the end for you."  
Elmo opened his mouth to scream, but semen poured out of his mouth drowning out his pained sobs. Kermit forced Elmo's legs apart as his stomach clenched painfully. His tears began to soak the floor, and the pentagram Elmo drew with his red cum began to glow. With a shudder, Elmo's eyes rolled backwards, and the sweet puppet stopped breathing.   
His anus tore open and out poured hundreds of tiny Kermits. The green beans immediately turned on their mother feasting on her flesh for sustenance. Kermit gazed on, his eyes filled with fatherly love.   
Suddenly a loud beeping filled the room. He turned around to see his stove. On the counter was a sequin dress and blonde wig. On the stove was a sizzling pan of bacon.


	4. The Great Cleanse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The worst one so far. Honestly, I cried while writing this. I genuinely shed tears.

Mr Clean wiped the sweat off his brow as he gazed at his now sparkling living room. Each surface was practically glowing and a soft flowery smell wafted through the house. Mr. Clean had worked his ass off to get his home looking this nice, and he was exhausted. 

Heading toward the kitchen, a specific activity in mind, a smirk stretched across his face causing a thick sea of wrinkles to mar his face. Opening the fridge, he retrieved his favorite toy. A tube of Pillsbury biscuits.  
Settling himself at the table, the tube in one hand a bottle of ketchup in the other, Mr. Clean prepared to give into his dirtiest desires.

Unzipping his pants, his flaccid dick flopped into view. In its limp state it was already around seventeen inches long. Instead of wrapping his calloused hand around his no-no carrot, he began to gyrate his hips causing his dick to flap around. He spun faster, and faster, his pink pecker beginning to grow. Letting out a animalistic scream, his body spasmed, arms flying and legs curling into ghastly positions. Grotesque sounds of the human body morphing and bones cracking into new positions filled the neighborhood as Mr. Cleans screams grew louder and louder. The ketchup in his right hand exploded not able to handle the stress of Clean's transformation.   
Blood and entrails splattered the walls, organs slowly sliding down the once pristine walls, leaving behind a trail of slime as they slid to the floor. 

His screams, that were once recognizable as human, had turned into the roar of a helicopter engine. In the kitchen was a monster in the form of a helicopter. His face stretched across the bottom so he could gaze down upon the terrified faces of the civilians, boneless arms and legs flopped uselessly by his sides, and his massive cock had become the blades. After admiring his new form, his mouth gaped open releasing the ear shredding sounds of a helicopter engine and he took to the skies.

In the cockpit, which was his asshole stretched out to create a dark, wet cavern for the driver to sit in, was the Pillsbury doughboy. A maniacal grin stretched across his gooey face as he drove his lover through the sky. To his right, was Mr Clean's prostate. Finally, the plan could be completed. The doughboy diddled Clean's g-spot like no one has before. The man turned machine let out a deafening scream-like moan as he released his seed all over the unsuspecting neighborhood.

Squirts of the bald man's cum rained down upon innocent people, until two inches of his semen blanketed the ground. Suddenly, it was over and the macabre helicopter man was gone just as soon as he appeared. 

Deborah Jones let out a deep sigh as she watched the horrifying display from her window.   
"Goddamn it," She complained, shaking his gnarled fist at Mr Clean's home, "This is the fifth time this month. And I wonder why my son never wants to visit..."


End file.
